Ladies, I would like to introduce you to the best-fitting, most-flattering, greatest-ass-enhancing pants you will ever find. At my friend’s wedding last weekend, people (you know who you are, Waris!) were actually taking picture of my behind, posing next to it like it was their best friend and accomplice. I strongly advise you to listen to me and try to find these babies, especially if you’re single and have weddings to attend. Plus the red is like a goddamn bull’s eye. Smart pants!

But there’s more than one way to wear this Peter Pilotto top. Try three!

Wicked, red, high-waisted pants by Giulietta; Red, beaded ruffle top by Peter Pilotto; Red pumps by Casadei; Leather shorts and suede skirt by Isabel Marant (Fall/Winter 2013); Red leather dragon ‘Susan’ clutch by Corto Moltedo; Multi-color woven slip-ons by Rivieras; Wooden platforms by Celine; Cheap hoop earrings from Times Square.

Photos by Meredith Jenks. Thanks to (Kate) Mouse for her excellent modeling skills!